Featured Articles

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Switch)
Awful tutorials, confounding gameplay, questionable character design, and gacha mechanics. Hard to believe it's one of my favorite games, but it is. Here's why...
[NSFW] Top of the Heap: Pokémon Games That Aren't
Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet.
[NSFW] Black Sigil: Blade of the Exiled (DS)
So dutifully trying to be Chrono Trigger it's both admirable and depressing at the same time.
[NSFW] Metroid Fusion (GBA)
The big N didn't do too many horrid things to Samus...
Skirt Lift (iPod Touch)
"Get an iPod Touch," I was told. "The games are inexpensive, and there is something for everyone." Well pardon me, disembodied voice. Not all of the decent games are cheap, you know. And I'm not exact
[NSFW] Hacks'n'Slash #4: Metroid High School
Samus and Ridley star in a completely canon average high school love story.
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening DX (GBC)
The name of this game makes many a fanboy spring up with joy, though I'd rather they kept it in their pants. Just as much as if you criticize Picasso, you'll be thrown out of art college, if you crit
Disregard Canon, Acquire Representation: Naoto Shirogane is a Transman
Why accept the canon explanation when the story could be so much more interesting?
Pac-Man Arrangement (PSP)
A Pac-Man Arrangement:There once was a man named Pac-Man,And rehashing old games was his plan.There was no aim for fun,And his games all bar none,Were destined to enter the trash can.But Arrangement i
Paris Hilton's Diamond Quest (Mobile)
Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? "Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best," I thought. But you shouldn't run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton's Dia

Latest Articles

  • Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (GBA)

    Reviews Reviews by Paul Franzen on

    I'd put this above Paper Mario, but below Super Mario RPG.

  • Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals (SNES)

    Reviews Reviews by Matt Gardner on

    "Holy jeez, I'm in a town!"

  • Aero the Acro-Bat (SG)

    Reviews Reviews by Stuart Gipp on

    The flying mouse with attitude who completely failed to set the world on fire.

  • James Pond 2: Codename Robocod (SMS)

    Reviews Reviews by Stuart Gipp on

    The toys at Santa's factory are crying out for help! Who will save them? Then, from the depths...ROBOCOD!

  • Carbonated News (December 2004)

    News Posts News Posts by Paul Franzen on

    - The remake of one of Genesis' most popular titles that I've never played, Altered Beast, is sadly no longer slated to come to the United States.  I know you're heartbroken, but don't fret too much

  • Kirby’s Dream Course (SNES)

    Reviews Reviews by Brian Vanek on

    Miniature golf can't be much more fun than when you have Kirby as the ball.

  • … of the Month: Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie Soundtrack

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    If you are asking yourself right now "What does the Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie soundtrack have to do with video games?" then you clearly have not read the title. And you're an ass.

  • Great Moments in Gaming #4

    Columns Columns by Stuart Gipp on

    Playing Abe's Oddysee, you are tramping around Rupture Farms, experimenting with the buttons. You press a certain button combination and a flatulent sound is heard. Your brain goes into joy-spasms. Did --- did the lead character just FART? You try it again. Abe farts again. You cry tears of joy. Then you find a sleeping enemy and fart on him. He instantly wakes up and fillets you. You don't care --- ABE CAN, NAY, MUST FART AT WILL. When you find out that flatulence is integral to beating the game, you just laugh even harder.

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    Digital Championship Wrestling: Sora vs. Mega Man

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    Paul: Hello again everyone, and welcome back to Digital Championship Wrestling! As always I'm Paul Franzen, and here with me tonight Eric "PLZ REZ" Regan.Eric: And I just can't wait for today's matchu

  • Geoff Wastes a Minute of Your Time

    Fan Submissions Fan Submissions by Geoff Osman on

    So this month is full of games galore and I am freaking broke! I just preordered Halo 2, and Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix 2 but what about Metal Gear Solid 3 and Metroid Prime 2? There is also the next Prince of Persia and Need for Speed Underground. I want all these games, but that's sooo much freaking money! I love that all these games are coming out but why did it all have to be at once! It was hard to make a choice. I chose Halo 2 because of the LAN parties here. DDR was my second choice because it's the only exercise I've been having here except reaching for Krispy Kream Donuts. If anyone wants to donate money to me it would be much appreciated. Until next time...thanks for letting me waste your precious time.