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Awful tutorials, confounding gameplay, questionable character design, and gacha mechanics. Hard to believe it's one of my favorite games, but it is. Here's why...

GC Podcast #182: Patently Absurd

You've been served!

[NSFW] Metroid Fusion (GBA)

The big N didn't do too many horrid things to Samus...

Disregard Canon, Acquire Representation: Naoto Shirogane is a Transman

Why accept the canon explanation when the story could be so much more interesting?

Enviro-Bear 2000: Operation: Hibernation (PC)

In 2009, Justin Smith ventured forth with a game that would change the gaming industry forever. A title that would blow the fish out of the water. A game for FREE that beats the living daylights out o

Gamer Girlfriend: Friends Don't Let Friends Play (Crappy) Facebook Games

It all started when I got a message from GameCola's own Kate Jay. "Hey Vangie," she said, "I know you don't usually play Facebook games, but you might want to give this one a try. It's really a lot of

Garry's Mod (PC)

When is a game not a game?

[NSFW] Black Sigil: Blade of the Exiled (DS)

So dutifully trying to be Chrono Trigger it's both admirable and depressing at the same time.

Shall We Date?: Wizardess Heart (iOS)

The Harry Potter dating sim we've all been waiting for! Kind of.

[NSFW] Final Fantasy Tactics (PS1)

A fan of the Final Fantasy series? Maybe not after you play this one...

Latest Articles

Muscle March Finally Released in the U.S.!

News Posts by Paul Franzen on January 20, 2010

In case you missed it in my new videogame releases post yesterday, Muscle March has finally been released for WiiWare in the U.S.! Here’s why you should care: …Actually, to be honest, I’m not sure the gameplay really looks that much fun, despite the game’s Katamari-esque levels of fantastic Japanese wackiness. (I have a feeling … Continue reading "Muscle March Finally Released in the U.S.!"
Doom RPG (Mobile)

Reviews by Matt Jonas on January 20, 2010

Disclaimer: This review contains a picture of "dancing dog," and is rated R, for Ruff. ...So, university is a dumb waste of time so far. If I'd have known that "being lectured" stands for "being shout
New Videogame Releases for the Week of January 18th, 2010

News Posts by Paul Franzen on January 19, 20101

Dark Void, Muscle March, Death by Cube, Bob Came In Pieces, Dark Void Zero, Pinball Hall of Fame: The Gottlieb Collection, Vandal Hearts: Flames of Judgment, and more.
What the Crap?: The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!

Columns by Mark Freedman on January 19, 20101

What the Crap even was the Super Mario Bros. Super Show?
Metroid Prime Trilogy (Wii)

Reviews by Zach Rich on January 19, 2010

In 2007, the great and wonderful folks at Valve made every single one of us dirty, dirty consumer pigs feel like we just blew up the ferris wheel at the Toys"R"Us in NYC and made off with five spectac
Sonic to NOT Star in New Sonic Game

News Posts by Michael Gray on January 19, 20105

Hello, folks. As you may know, I recently announced my intention to stop writing "Carbonated News." No sooner did I announce this than GameCola Head Editor Paul Franzen wrote a news report entitle
Tales of Monkey Island: The Siege of Spinner Cay (PC)

Reviews by Paul Franzen on January 18, 201012

OK, so here's the thing. Everything I said about the last game goes. Everything. If you liked the last game, get The Siege of Spinner Cay, too; if you haven't played the last game, read my review of t
Metroid Fusion Walkthrough

Videos by Nathaniel Hoover on January 18, 20101

Missiles! Energy Tanks! Ridley! Orders! Ice! Doppelgängers! Federation! Underpowered Samus! Intrigue! Omega Netroid! ...Erm, Metroid.
Oh, the Humanity!: Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

Columns by Michael Gray on January 17, 20109

Welcome to "Oh, the Humanity!", the column that reviews videogame-based movies and books. This time, I'm reviewing a 2001 VHS tape I found at my local library entitled Where on Earth is Carmen Sandieg
Sonic CD (SCD)

Reviews by Matt Jonas on January 16, 20102

"Sonic CD really is as great as you've heard people say on the Internet." - UK Resistance, 2005. I'm not too fond of the Sonic-bashing that tends to go on nowadays (just as much as I am not fond of En