Featured Articles

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Switch)
Awful tutorials, confounding gameplay, questionable character design, and gacha mechanics. Hard to believe it's one of my favorite games, but it is. Here's why...
[NSFW] Black Sigil: Blade of the Exiled (DS)
So dutifully trying to be Chrono Trigger it's both admirable and depressing at the same time.
[NSFW] Metroid Fusion (GBA)
The big N didn't do too many horrid things to Samus...
[NSFW] The Fantastic Adventures of Dizzy (NES)
I am not going to make one egg pun this entire review. Set your expectations now.
CONTEST: You Dressed Yourself Today!
Win a free custom t-shirt, courtesy of Dress United and GameCola.
[NSFW] Family Dog (SNES)
One of the most wretched, nauseating games I've ever played.
[NSFW] Shall we date?: Destiny Ninja (iOS)
A great game for people who only have two minutes to play each day.
[NSFW] Final Fantasy Tactics (PS1)
A fan of the Final Fantasy series? Maybe not after you play this one...
[NSFW] 999 With the Pony Pros - Part 1: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors, Nine Videos
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO SOMETHING THE SHIP IS SINKING YOU MORONS.

Latest Articles

  • Games for the Casual Gamer: Diddy Kong Racing

    Columns Columns by Lianna Gaughan on

    Diddy Kong Racing is based on Mario Kart 64, only with better graphics, and a little more of a plot. One to four people can play this game, but there can also be six racers at a time. For One Player:

  • Swordquest: WaterWorld

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    "... make sure that you don't agree to anything about canceling the contest." That's what they said to him after he won the competition. Ominous advice from the Swordquest veterans. What could it mean

  • Spice World (PS1)

    Reviews Reviews by Paul Franzen on

    Let's say for a moment that you're Psygnosis, little-known game publisher with only a few major hits under your belt.  You've just scored the rights to one of the hottest untapped licenses available:

  • The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening (GB)

    Reviews Reviews by Doug O'Neil on

    How does this handheld entry into the Zelda franchise hold up 9 years after its initial release?

  • Carbonated News (December 2002)

    News Posts News Posts by Paul Franzen on

    - Tomb Raider.  Final Fantasy.  Mortal Kombat.  Super Mario Brothers. Resident Evil. Pac-Man.  Which of these things is not like the others?  Which of these things just doesn't belong?  Which of

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    Dear Readers: Appreciation

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    You know what I have come to realize this month? That far, far too many of you don't *really* care about GameCola. We grace your e-mail inbox with our free-of-charge newsletter once every month (well, almost every month), and you do nothing for us in return, not even so much as give us a lousy top 10 list. What the heck is with that, any? We might not even have a list this month if it weren't for the fortunate foresight of video game guru Terrance Atkins. Honestly, sometimes I think you just subscribe to GameCola because it makes you look cool, not because you actually give a h00t about us. Which is understandable, because everyone who's anyone subscribes to GameCola, but the very least you could do is show us some gratitude for giving you such elite status! Heck, at this point, I'd be happy to receive something so simple as some fan art, or even something so off-topic as a list of your 10 least favorite games. That's all I want, just some appreciation. If you'd be so kind. Danke.

  • … of the Month: The 11-Minute Mario 3 Completion Video

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    Now, in case any of you haven't heard the news about this pseudo-miraculous video, it is basically of a person playing through the game of Super Mario Bros 3. in 11 minutes. The conspiracy comes in with whether or not he did this legitimately, or whether he/she cheated in some way/shape/form. One theory is that the person who did it used an emulator, playing the game in a slowed down mode, and then sped it up in the movie to make it seem like his feat had been performed at regular speed. This stems from the fact that some people have seen "jumping" and flashing and whatnot during the video, hinting at such editing.

  • … of the Month: Kingdom Hearts

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    Kingdom Hearts is a collaboration between Square and Disney, and it lives up to the names of both companies. It has the great gameplay, characters, and storyline of a Final Fantasy game combined with the heart-warming stories and loveable characters from your favorite Disney movies. While you play you will run into familiar characters from Disney and Squaresoft, such as Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Aladdin, Hercules, Tarzan, Ariel, Peter Pan, Squall, Cloud, Yuffie, etc. These characters and others will team up with the hero of this story, Sora, to fight a seemingly endless battle against the shadowy, evil creatures known as the Heartless. The gameplay is easy to pick up, and even if you rarely play video games you will quickly be able to master it. If you are a Disney fan, a Squaresoft fan, or even if you aren't into either of them, go out and pick up Kingdom Hearts. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you may even soil yourself from sheer joy.

  • Games for the Casual Gamer: Crash Bandicoot: Warped

    Columns Columns by Lianna Gaughan on

    Crash Bandicoot: Warped is the third game in the Playstation Crash Bandicoot series.  The object of this game is to try and save all of the gems and crystals from Dr. Neo Cortex and his side-kick Uck

  • Swordquest: FireWorld

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    With their EarthWorld competition now a piece of the past and winner Stephen Bell now $15,000 richer, Atari commenced phase two of their plot to reanimate their critically-conditioned console—the se